“While there are things I love about the organization, and most especially the people and community, I also see the messiness, the warts, and I see some very real pain and damage in it all. And so here I am today, living at the edge of inside.” In this special bonus, Jeralee reflects on her faith journey and the lessons she’s learning along the way, sharing an adaptation of her presentation from the ALSSI Fall Gathering, October 2022
Notes & Quotes:
Waters of Mormon Facebook group
Bridges—Support for Latter-day Saint Parents of Adult Children Facebook group
Find a transcript of Jeralee’s presentation here
“There is Always a Struggle”: An Interview with Chieko N. Okazaki, by Greg Prince, Dialogue Journal
At the Edge of Inside, by David Brooks, New York Times, 6/24/2016
“A doorkeeper must love both the inside and the outside of his or her group, and know how to move between these two loves. They work at the boundaries, the bridges and entranceways…”
— Richard Rohr
“For a seed to achieve it’s greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, it’s insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.” — Cynthia Ocelli
“Transformation consists almost entirely of decay.” — Pat Barker
“Ambiguity and contradiction are a part of life. Truth is elusive and malleable. Accepting that condition is a necessary part of maturity.” — C. Bushman
“Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: “Who has earned the right to hear my story?” If we have one or two people in our lives who can sit with us and hold space for our shame stories, and love us for our strengths and struggles, we are incredibly lucky. If we have a friend, or small group of friends, or family who embraces our imperfections, vulnerabilities, and power, and fills us with a sense of belonging, we are incredibly lucky.” — Brene Brown
“I have always been drawn to the edges of things, the places where two things collide. Where bog borders riverbank, where meadow merges into forest. Where you stand in the margins of what is behind you and look out across the threshold of the future.
The brink of possibilities – will you cross?
Edges are transitional places; they are also the best places from which to create something new. Ecologists call it the ‘edge effect’: at the convergence, where contrasting ecological systems meet and mingle… Those of us who live here must be comfortable with storms and with change, for it is on these unsettled, unsettling edges that we will hear the Call which launches us on our journey. And though we can never quite be sure what that journey will involve, we know that new possibilities may be created only if we surrender to uncertainty.” — Sharon Blackie
Jeralee’s personal rules for sharing:
a) I don’t share my journey with anyone who has not first earned my trust.
b) Once you have shared, you can not un-share, so proceed with caution.
c) For me, this is a very fluid journey, so I am hesitant to label what I do and do not believe, as that might change a bit tomorrow, next week, or next year.
d) Faith Journeys are very personal. Don’t feel that you need or should share with anyone that you don’t want to…
e) Set safe boundaries for yourself on what you feel you can and cannot do on serving / participating at church, given where you are, and then answer accordingly if any given calling will work for you.
Louisa
This is great advice, but I feel so abandoned. I worked at BYU and didn’t feel like I could be quiet about my questions and struggles while also having honesty and integrity. The university required that I divulge things to my bishop. I feel like I wasn’t allowed to have a personal journey. Consequently, I was not allowed to continue teaching because of my faith crisis. In my experience, BYU pushes people away who want to be on the edge of inside, both teachers and students.