Say More: At Last She Writes It

No. 34 | March 2025

Hearts Knit Together

by Carol Brown

“There is no reason why we should expect everyone else to
travel by our own road,
and we should not attempt to point them to the spiritual path...
the Lord will take care of his own.”

—Teresa de Avila¹

My decades-long support of patriarchy in my religion

unraveled one thread at a time. The cruel cord of polygamy wounded my soul as I felt Emma’s betrayal and loneliness. I sorrowed for my polygamous great-grandmothers who suffered when a new wife was brought into their homes or when they were the new wife. I mourned with them when they were left destitute after their husbands were called on missions. Entwined in my DNA is my grandmother’s grief when she buried four of her ten infants, clothing them in homespun dresses and burying them in desert graves. I honor my foremothers for facing grievous trials with courage and for their legacy of resilience and devotion to the God they worshiped. I praise them for carding wool which they wove into blankets, for making holy spaces of their log and earthen homes, and for binding my heart to theirs as they sacrificed everything for the promise of eternal familial bonds.

I would like to say:

Would you still come, knowing this?

How did you endure such sorrow?

Are you disappointed with my questionings?

Thank you for my life.