"Jesus taught through stories, healings, lectures, discussions, example, and probably more, but never through manipulation." Yes! we say we follow the pattern of the Savior, but how caan any adults NOT see the harms of manipulation? I am so sorry this happened to you Kristine. And the "gunshots"? How did all these adults go along with this? That is the real problem, how an entire culture can breed silence.
And speaking of culture, "Why can’t anyone have an opinion." EXACTLY! I guarantee if most people allowed themselves to even *think* about their opinons about churchy stuff, they still wouldn't voice it out loud to anyone in the system. That's been my biggest take aways reading the Carol Lynn Pearson diaries, how women in leadership quietly complained to her because she was safe, but would NEVER share those opinions out loud. MADNESS!
OH MY GOODNESS- that Girls Camp experience was INSANE to listen to. My heart was pounding and I knew it was made up. I think about how often fear was used to teach principles and it's just so 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️. I look back at my journals growing up and the one dominant theme is "Am I doing enough? Good enough? Serving enough? Watching my thoughts enough? Loving enough? Faithful enough?? and all marked by a real undercurrent of anxiety and fear that I wasn't. Gahhhhh.
I think this was pretty common, but my variation of the chairs activity was following a a series of ropes tied between trees while blindfolded.
Before we started the leaders told us to be sure to “choose the right path,” and I took that literally. I ignored everything that the leaders trying to guide/trick us said and just chose the literal right option every time. It definitely wasn’t the most efficient strategy, but it worked eventually.
I still don’t know what we were supposed to be thinking. We weren’t given any sort of instruction on how to tell which leaders were telling the truth. It just seems kind of silly and pointless in retrospect.
I have so many thoughts! First, I did the same dark gym, metal chairs, blindfolded activity as a youth. In ours we had to listen to the "still small voice" of the bishop from across the room. At the end, some of us had "made it" and others who listened to the "wrong" voices were seated on the edge of the stage. I imagine it must have been rather humiliating for them. 😬
Secondly - that girls camp activity is horrific!!!! I would have been furious had I found out my child had been through something like that at camp! The whole story made me think about how much in the church we do use manipulation, fear, and trauma to teach lessons. Like all the traumatic "faith promoting" stories told at general conference, or written about in church magazines! The fear of something terrible happening to me had me obsessively trying to keep all those church boxes checked so that God would protect me.
Yeah, I still can't quite get over that story since I read it! I just can't imagine thinking that scaring the girls would be a great idea...I've thought a lot about how I wish listening to/feeling the spirit were taught to kids at church. I'm not sure I got it right either, but some things seem like a no brainer and emotional manipulation feels like a hard no to me. Yet it's so often the go-to in my experience. —S.
"Jesus taught through stories, healings, lectures, discussions, example, and probably more, but never through manipulation." Yes! we say we follow the pattern of the Savior, but how caan any adults NOT see the harms of manipulation? I am so sorry this happened to you Kristine. And the "gunshots"? How did all these adults go along with this? That is the real problem, how an entire culture can breed silence.
And speaking of culture, "Why can’t anyone have an opinion." EXACTLY! I guarantee if most people allowed themselves to even *think* about their opinons about churchy stuff, they still wouldn't voice it out loud to anyone in the system. That's been my biggest take aways reading the Carol Lynn Pearson diaries, how women in leadership quietly complained to her because she was safe, but would NEVER share those opinions out loud. MADNESS!
OH MY GOODNESS- that Girls Camp experience was INSANE to listen to. My heart was pounding and I knew it was made up. I think about how often fear was used to teach principles and it's just so 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️. I look back at my journals growing up and the one dominant theme is "Am I doing enough? Good enough? Serving enough? Watching my thoughts enough? Loving enough? Faithful enough?? and all marked by a real undercurrent of anxiety and fear that I wasn't. Gahhhhh.
Yes!!! I still struggle with this. Like I'm still hoping to be told "well done, thou good and faithful servant" and then I can relax
I think this was pretty common, but my variation of the chairs activity was following a a series of ropes tied between trees while blindfolded.
Before we started the leaders told us to be sure to “choose the right path,” and I took that literally. I ignored everything that the leaders trying to guide/trick us said and just chose the literal right option every time. It definitely wasn’t the most efficient strategy, but it worked eventually.
I still don’t know what we were supposed to be thinking. We weren’t given any sort of instruction on how to tell which leaders were telling the truth. It just seems kind of silly and pointless in retrospect.
I have so many thoughts! First, I did the same dark gym, metal chairs, blindfolded activity as a youth. In ours we had to listen to the "still small voice" of the bishop from across the room. At the end, some of us had "made it" and others who listened to the "wrong" voices were seated on the edge of the stage. I imagine it must have been rather humiliating for them. 😬
Secondly - that girls camp activity is horrific!!!! I would have been furious had I found out my child had been through something like that at camp! The whole story made me think about how much in the church we do use manipulation, fear, and trauma to teach lessons. Like all the traumatic "faith promoting" stories told at general conference, or written about in church magazines! The fear of something terrible happening to me had me obsessively trying to keep all those church boxes checked so that God would protect me.
Yeah, I still can't quite get over that story since I read it! I just can't imagine thinking that scaring the girls would be a great idea...I've thought a lot about how I wish listening to/feeling the spirit were taught to kids at church. I'm not sure I got it right either, but some things seem like a no brainer and emotional manipulation feels like a hard no to me. Yet it's so often the go-to in my experience. —S.