ALSSI Newsletter
July/August 2022
Last night I was listening to Kate Bowler interview Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury, and she asked him about the development of his faith as a young person. I can’t stop thinking about his answer: he said he wasn’t atheist or agnostic, but rather, “It was the kind of faith that meant it wasn’t worth the trouble not believing…because believing didn’t make any difference, really.”
I had to rewind and listen to that sentence 3 times. I had to stop in the middle of the path I was walking and jot it down so I could read it 3 more before bed. Sometimes I hear a kind of truth that explains my own experience to me, and his words did.
I’ve spent my life in a church that focuses on belief. Yes, it also focuses on actions, but what we believe is an important and specific key to entering the temple. Latter-day Saints consider temple ordinances to be the most important thing we do—so important that not only must everyone receive them, everyone must receive them here on earth. People who have died may accept them in the next life, but even that will somehow depend on their belief.
So as a young person I knew the importance of the temple, I knew belief was a required key to get inside, and I knew the correct ways of expressing that belief. And for me personally, it wasn’t worth the trouble not believing. I grew up so immersed in the culture and the expectations, believing didn’t make any difference, really.
Until my beliefs started to change. Or more specifically, how I thought about belief generally started to change.
The Archbishop of Canterbury described this difference himself like this: “God was who you followed rather than God was what you believed in…and that’s a hugely different way of looking at it.”
There came a time for me when all my correct ‘beliefs’ didn’t answer the problems of my messy life. I started to wonder what I’d missed. Within a few years, I began to realize what I’d missed was relationship with God.
What I’d missed was understanding and internalizing grace and love.
What I’d missed was an interrogation of my professed belief…which ideas fed me, and which left me starving? (And after so many years as a religious woman, why was I starving?)
What I’d missed was the transformation of heart that could change me from a person who checked boxes and said right answers to a person who really wanted to understand Jesus and follow his teachings. To make a difference here and now, shifting my focus from saving myself to serving others.
I no longer cared about a key; I wanted a path.
It's not easy, being a person in our church who thinks and talks about things a little differently. I probably make a lot of members uncomfortable. But allowing myself to transition from desiring to be a believer to desiring to be a follower has been the most important thing I’ve done.
To me, faith means giving your hope legs and teaching it to walk. At last, I’m walking my own path—on my own legs, powered by my own hope! Other people who sound more orthodox than I do may well be ahead of me…who’s to say? It’s not a race, just a journey. Changing the way I understand and express some big, foundational ideas has helped me progress. Belief may matter, but I believe what makes the real difference is the desire to find our own legs, and the willingness to walk.
— Susan
“A lot of Christians like to remind me that heaven is my true home, which makes me want to ask them if they would like to go home first.”
— Kate Bowler
Two items for your calendar:
Save the Date!
Saturday, October 15 is the date of our next ALSSI gathering, this time to be held in SLC. Keep an eye on our website and social media for registration info. We can’t wait!
But you don’t have to wait until then to make new friends or have good conversation about important things, because our next Ladies’ Night In discussion group is just a few weeks away!
Date: Thursday, August 25, 2022
Time: 7:00 pm Mountain
Watch our social media for an announcement of the evening’s topic.
Register here or on our website’s Events page to receive the Zoom link by email:
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZcqdOiopj4vHtW065V0DBn1T24s-yW5wK4l
See you in a few weeks!
“My story can never be your story […]. But my story might inform yours, or be like yours, or maybe even add depth or another dimension to yours. If nothing else, sharing our stories might lead to greater understanding, tolerance, appreciation, and perhaps even celebration of our differences.”
— Diana Butler Bass
July was busy!
We’ve taken on so many big topics on the podcast this past month. In Christ Chose Women, we discussed the roles of some influential women at the heart of early Christianity. In The Invisible Woman, we talked about how aging in the Church can come with unique challenges for women. Next, we returned to a favorite theme, We Don’t Believe Our Own Stuff for a discussion about Heavenly Mother. And because all that that wasn’t overwhelming and complicated enough, we took on Part 3 of our temple discussion series, The Ultimate Big Deal, then followed it up with a bonus episode, Still Ultimate, Still a Big Deal. Whew! No wonder we’re tired!
In case you missed our social media, here’s a glimpse:
“Most of us like thinking we are God's only children...At least one of the purposes of church is to remind us that God has other children, easily as precious as we. Baptism and narcissism cancel each other out.”
— Barbara Brown Taylor
From our listeners:
“This one gets my vote as the best podcast of the year! Best in terms of what I learned and what I consider the importance of it. Your quote ‘… too late for my daughters’ really hit home. All four of ours have moved away from the Church. Their view of women’s roles in the Church in general and specifically in the temple were the driving force for those decisions. They noticed the inequity from their childhoods — and as Young Women they complained about it often to me as a Counselor in Bishoprics. Daughter number three even challenged me to compare the curriculums of the YW to YM… we did it together and I agreed with her that the YW were not ‘getting the meat’ of the Gospel as she so aptly said it. We wrote the Curriculum dept of the Church together with the deficiencies. We received a response 2 years later explaining that changes were coming… again ‘too late for my daughters.’”
— S. Jones, from our website
”I want to gush about how wonderful it is to hear active LDS women who are my age (well, you will be in a few years) talk about the complicated parts of life and the church and our spiritual journeys. Listening to you during my commute helps me in so many ways.
I had to tell you about my reaction to Elder Renlund’s talk. I understand that he needed to stick to the party line, but when he said we would know as much about Heavenly Mother as he does, and ended with ‘I wish I knew more.’ I couldn’t believe it. Of all people on the Earth, if an apostle of God really wished to know more, he could. Who better to get revelation for the whole church than one of the 12? I had a hard time listening to the rest of the talk because of the hypocrisy I hear in that line.
Thank you for what you are doing. I thank my Heavenly Parents that I found you. I am a divorced mother of three adult children, two of them being non-binary LGBTQ+, one who isn’t interested in church any more and one who returned home from their mission a few years ago and, though yearning to keep their spirituality and love for the Lord, has stepped away from it because of the toxic environment of people who say they love them, act like friends but then say they can never accept them for who they are because it’s against ‘the Church.’ You are showing me there are ways to be faithful and speak up for myself and all people in the church. And since I currently teach RS, I hope to empower more of my sisters and siblings of all genders to move closer to the relationship with God and help the Church become the society it is meant to be.”
— G. Heddy, from our website
”My very talented, fun, physically active 69 year old mom was just saying how she’s not needed at church anymore. It made me sad and honestly I had never really given this any thought because it hasn’t been my experience yet, but I have definitely been thinking about this since listening today and trying to figure out ways I can make women feel more valued in my little circle of influence.”
— @heatherwmickey on IG
”In a church so focused on the family…it sure does feel like I’ve been raised by a single father. I’ve only thought about and worshipped him. I’m 48 and it’s taken me until recently to even scarcely consider heavenly mother. I think if the brethren were to acknowledge HM, every single thing we do in the church would now be at the forefront of change. A shift in pronouns on every aspect…hymns, prayer, testimonies, ordination. We would move into a more equal space. And that would threaten hierarchy and patriarchy. A system that has allowed men to be in charge of everything. When systems and institutions have a few of one gender with the ultimate authoritative power and privilege, they won’t be giving that up anytime soon. It might take a collective revolution someday.”
— @cravephotography on IG
“Jesus never asked anyone to form a church, ordain priests, develop elaborate rituals and institutional cultures, and splinter into denominations. His two great requests were that we ‘love one another as I have loved you’ and that we share bread and wine together as an open channel of that interabiding love.”
— Cynthia Bourgeault
And now…refreshments!
They keep well for a few days if you can make them last. My kids love them but I make them because I love them.
— Cynthia
Raspberry Squares
1 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour (7.5 ounces)
1 1/4 cups quick-cooking oats
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon table salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup finely chopped pecans or almonds, or a combination
12 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 1/2 sticks), cut into 12 pieces and softened but still cool
1 cup raspberry preserves
INSTRUCTIONS
1. Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position and heat oven to 350°. Spray 9-inch-square baking pan with nonstick cooking spray. Line with foil or parchment for easy removal. Spray foil or parchment with nonstick cooking spray.
2. In bowl of standing mixer, mix flour, oats, sugars, baking soda, salt, and nuts at low speed until combined, about 30 seconds. With mixer running at low speed, add butter pieces; continue to beat until mixture is well-blended and resembles wet sand, about 2 minutes.
3. Transfer 2/3 of mixture to prepared pan and use hands to press crumbs evenly into bottom. Bake until starting to brown, about 20 minutes. Spoon and spread preserves evenly over hot bottom crust; sprinkle remaining oat/nut mixture evenly over preserves. I like to very lightly press the crumble topping down, that way it’s not too crumbly and messy when you bite into a square. Bake until preserves bubble around edges and top is golden brown, about 30 minutes, rotating pan from front to back halfway through baking time. Cool on wire rack to room temperature, about 1 1/2 hours, then remove from pan using foil handles. Cut into squares and serve.
Thanks for listening…
…to 100 episodes!
And reading, commenting, emailing, voice mailing, Zooming, discussing, supporting (us and each other), donating, and all the things you do! 5 seasons into this project, we still can’t believe we’re the lucky women having these conversations with all of you.
We look forward to hearing more of your experiences and ideas during the 2nd half of our season. Happy summer!
— Cynthia and Susan