Latter-day Saint women in a liminal faith space may find it’s not easy to know what to say, or to whom we can say it. It can feel scary to share non-traditional thoughts with the people closest to us—a husband or partner, a parent, close friend, or child—or discuss shifts we experience in foundational aspects of our church or spiritual lives. In Episode 128, Cynthia and Susan are joined by therapist C.A. Larson for a conversation about having these hard conversations.
Dan Bryant
Being a convert to the church, I have a little different perspective then lifetime members. When my wife no longer believed in Joseph Smith and reduced her activity in the church. I realized that I needed to respect her agency to change what she believes in, being supportive. Unless she wanted to talk more about the issue, I needed to patiently wait to see if she ever wanted to start the conversation, then move on and accept her decision. To continue bringing it up would put undue pressure on her, probably resulting in no change (or worse trying to take away her agency) in her position, thereby creating frustration for me. That was her decision 20 years ago, and our relationship was never really affected but it did make me ponder on what that meant in the hereafter.
It is interesting that in the church we have a different view of the hereafter than people of other faiths, but I believe that the reality of the hereafter is already set in stone and sometimes we worry about the future needlessly. If we are a doubting Thomas, then we’ll find out the real truth and exercise our agency to either accept that we were wrong or accept limitations placed on us in the hereafter. Finding out whether our decision will impact our life and the relationship with our families in the hereafter.
Dan Bryant
After listening to your podcast yesterday I felt the need to share my thoughts. I loved the comment about the Bishopric in California who called two women as advisors to the Bishopric on an ongoing basis. But you need to add value by finding out and reporting on what happened to lead the Bishopric to consider issuing these callings and who planted the seed in their minds. Was it the Bishopric themselves, was it the Relief Society President, was it a Bishopric wife, where did this concept start. That is what your readers want to hear, Ways to move their agenda within the system in a way that causes the brethren (at all levels) to take the council under advisement, causing them to discuss, pray and ponder upon the issues and seeking revelation pertaining to their callings. Looking for base hits rather than the rare home runs that is amazing but doesn’t necessarily win the game. In other words, be like Paul Harvey by telling your followers “The Rest of the Story”. As a man, I hope I’m not overstepping my place by providing comments rather than just listening in, but it just seemed to be a perspective worth considering that could add value to your program by sharing this comment.
Scott Jones
… ever fiber of my being… wow, that describes so much of my journey and why I haven’t completed cut ties. Poetry,.. “How painful it is to stay, but how hopeless it is to leave.” Thank you for a realistic portrayal of where so many find themselves.
Make sure you listen to the message of hope at the very end.