What does it mean to a Latter-day Saint young woman when she hears that virtue and chastity are ‘most dear and precious above all things?’ Purity Culture is a movement built on teachings of sexual abstinence before marriage, with the insidious slant that girls and women are responsible for not only their own purity, but that of boys and men. Young women face strict dress codes and years of lessons about how to avoid tempting or distracting. Some even internalize a message that’s difficult to overcome: a woman’s personal worth is linked to her sexual purity. In Episode 112, therapist Colette Dalton joins Cynthia and Susan for a conversation about changing the conversation. How might the Church teach chastity in ways that promote sexual health and spiritual well-being throughout our lives?

Notes & Quotes:
Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free, by Linda Kay Klein
Why the Bible Has So Many Prostitutes, by David Plotz, Slate, 9/26/2006
Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments, by Jeffrey R. Holland, BYU Speeches, 1/12/1988
Guardians of Virtue, by Elaine S. Dalton, 4/2011

Connect with Colette:
At work
On Instagram
On Facebook

Other resources:
Symmetry Soltions groups
Erica Smith, M.Ed., on Instagram
Mormon Mental Health Association (MMHA)
Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life, by Emily Nagoski

“…men are taught their minds are evil, whereas women are taught their bodies are evil. That is to say, men’s thoughts and actions are said to be either pure or impure, while women themselves are said to be either pure or impure.” — Linda Kay Klein

“To summarize, first, the researchers are finding that purity teachings do NOT meaningfully delay sex. Second, they are finding that they do increase shame, especially among females. And third, they report that this increased shame is leading to higher levels of sexual anxiety, lower levels of sexual pleasure, and the feeling among those experiencing shame that they are stuck feeling this way forever. Oh, and it doesn’t get better with time…it gets worse!” — Linda Kay Klein

“What’s with all the prostitutes? There’s scarcely an unmarried woman in the Bible so far who isn’t a prostitute, or treated like one! There’s Tamar, who turns a trick with her father-in-law Judah. The Moabite women, who whore themselves to the Israelites. The Midianite harlot who’s murdered by Phineas. Jacob’s daughter Dinah, whose loose behavior sparks mass slaughter. No wonder they call prostitution the oldest profession—it’s the only profession that biblical women seem to have.” — David Plotz

“Imagine growing up in a castle and hearing fables about how dragons destroy villages and kill good people all your life. Then, one day, you wake up and see scales on your arms and legs and realize, ‘Oh my […], I am a dragon.’ — Linda Kay Klein

“Evangelical Christianity’s sexual purity movement is traumatizing many girls and maturing women haunted by sexual and gender-based anxiety, fear, and physical experiences that sometimes mimic the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Based on our nightmares, panic attacks, and paranoia, one might think that my childhood friends and I had been to war. And in fact, we had. We went to war with ourselves, our own bodies, and our own sexual natures, all under the strict commandment of the church.” — Linda Kay Klein

6 principles of sexual health

  • Consent
  • Non-exploitative
  • Honest
  • Shared values
  • Mutual pleasure
  • Free from unwanted pregnancies and STIs