From the time they are young girls, Latter-day Saint women hear a great deal of emphasis placed on motherhood being central to their divine role. Modern day prophets have spoken clearly and repeatedly about the sacred responsibility to bear and nurture children. Yet there are so many variables that often go unacknowledged in the conversation—desire, opportunity, aptitude, health, finances, to name a few—that truly complicate this general teaching for specific women. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan discuss the ways motherhood adds real and ongoing complexity to their lives, choices, and feelings.
Kristin
Susan, I echo your feelings about being asked to regret your choices re: motherhood. Interestingly, I’m on the other end of the spectrum. I’m in my mid-30s, married for 10+ years, and am not a mother. Dealing with chronic health issues put a dampening on my motivation to be a mother, and I’ve always been more interested in professional growth and development than nurturing/homemaking. I feel peace and joy in my decision and have had very open and frank conversations with my Father in Heaven through prayer about the direction my life has taken. But so many people around me have said hurtful, and frankly inappropriate, things about how I will regret my choice to not become a mother. I know that they come from a place of caring (they don’t want me to miss out on an important and worthwhile experience), but it smacks of not giving me autonomy over my life and choices.
Susan Hinckley
Thanks so much for sharing, Kristin! If there’s a more fraught topic for women, I don’t know what it is. The decision to become a mother is one of the most highly personal of our lives, in my opinion, yet the people around us seem so willing to offer their opinions about our choices. I too feel great peace in the decisions I’ve made, even as I recognize and admit that they have come at a cost. For me, I think it makes a difference to my peace and happiness that I made the decision to be a mother for myself, and not because I felt pressured by anyone to do so. I’m thankful for that.