Episode 153: When Women Can't Stay
Embracing our journey means accepting that every individual’s path is different. While some Latter-day Saint women think about why they stay, others will be thinking about why they make the choice not to. In Episode 153, two women who found stepping away from church engagement to be the right choice for them share their personal stories. It's a conversation about why leaving is not as easy as some members may think, and why staying is not always the best option.
Notes & Quotes:
A Mother There: A Survey of Historical Teachings about Mother in Heaven, by David L. Paulsen & Martin Pulido, BYU Studies
I’m Not a Mother, but I’m Enough | A Conversation with Cristall Harper, ALSSI podcast, Ep. 77
Come, Join With Us, by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, October 2013
The Largest and Fastest Religious Shift in America is Well Underway, by Jessica Grose, New York Times, 6/21/2023
“Be spiritually independent enough that your relationship with the Savior doesn’t depend on your circumstances or on what other people say and do. Have the spiritual independence to be a Mormon–the best Mormon you can–in your own way. Not the bishop’s way. Not the Relief Society president’s way. Your way.”― Chieko N. Okazaki, Lighten Up
“As a general rule, I would say that human beings never behave more badly toward one another than when they believe they are protecting God.”― Barbara Brown Taylor, Leaving Church: A Memoir of Faith
Hi. I just finished listening to this podcast and want to address those feeling that come up when a listener leaves the church. I don’t think there needs to be guilt around that event. I recently had a faith crisis and almost left the church. The process of breaking down unhealthy gender ideas was so spiritually empowering. A lot of that came through this podcast. I would have never read Beth Allison Barr or Richard Roth if I hadn’t found you. A women being empowered to leave is most likely now to have more self esteem and a deeper connection to God. He may tell her to take a break. He may tell her to come back after a while. Or He may tell her another faith is best suited to her needs. If you help women grow in spirit, in or out, there is nothing to regret. Love you two!!!!
As a lifelong searcher, active Christ believer and convert to the LDS church more than 25 years ago at age 40 I feel the reply of many members that repeat the often heard idea that if/when someone leaves “ the church” and is thus leaving God is something I believe needs addressing. Many many times leaving the LDS church or any other organized religion may be the only way they can fully or even at all in some cases, continue their relationship with God. There are as many reasons to leave an organization as there are members of that organization. There are also as many reasons to stay as there are members that do. Church affiliation should never be the defining statement as a follower of Christ. Identity as a member of this or any religion is separate from our relationship to our God and Gods relationship to us individually. Of course there are members who leave and need the space to separate the two things if they never have. Of course there are members who may not be able to nurture any relationship with God for how ever long or for what ever reason. That is all the more reason to support them in their journey in creating the highest best relationship they desire with their Creator. We as individuals have always had the God given gift ( literally) of divining for ourselves if we are brave enough to dare use it. Many were not taught they have the authority. Many were taught many things that they could not do or know for themselves. One of import is that God would surely not have bothered to plant the light that was planted in each of them, as His/Their children for their own use as a liahona for them individually. I continually wrestle with staying or leaving . The Women . The Women are why I stay now. This church has placed the most incredible women in my life. If that alone was the entire reason for my membership it has been more than enough. I do wrestle with what other women are in my path that I may never meet should I leave.
Thank you both for the platform you give and the way you give room for thought to take root. Keep it going !
Kim