Episode 156: What About Consent?
There are many touchpoints with consent in a Latter-day Saint woman’s church life. From baptism to temple ordinances to accepting callings, we say yes over and over again, sometimes without ever seriously engaging our options. In Episode 156, Susan and Cynthia unpack consent. There are good reasons a woman might say ‘yes’ even while something inside her is saying ‘no,’ but true consent isn't coerced by force, threats, pressure, or intimidation. And silence is not consent.
Notes & Quotes:
Elder Bednar on Moral Agency
Gain Spiritual Intelligence, by David A. Bednar, Ricks College, 9/9/1997
The Nothingness of My Mother’s Mothers’ Consent, by Emily Nelson Wadley, Say More: At Last She Writes It, No. 1, 9/2023
Becoming the Person You Were Meant to Be, by Anne Lamott, O, The Oprah Magazine, 11/2009
“I have been frankly puzzled as I have listened to members of the Church say: ‘I have my agency. I don’t have to live the law of tithing or the Word of Wisdom. I don’t have to be chaste.’ I would suggest such individuals do not understand the doctrine of agency. You and I exercise agency in the making of a covenant. When we enter into a covenant with God, we voluntarily surrender a portion of our agency. And the consequences that come from violating the covenant are not within our control. It is not simply a matter of freedom to choose; rather, it is a matter of becoming covenant breakers. Think of the song Choose the Right. It does not say, ‘Choose what you want when you will.’ Agency is linked to a course of choosing the right. That is why we have agency. What did the Father say in the premortal council? ‘And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them’ (Abraham 3:25). Agency is to be used in choosing the right.” — David A. Bednar
“Every single day I try to figure out something I no longer agree to do. You get to change your mind—your parents may have accidentally forgotten to mention this to you.” — Anne Lamott