Say More: At Last She Writes It

No. 30 | January 2025

Rejecting the Box

by Nicole

When I was entering my teenage years as a life-long

member of the Mormon Church, I had a really good friend whose brother came out as gay. He was in High School at the time, so I didn't really know him other than in the context of being my friend's brother. What was most shocking about him coming out wasn't that he was gay or even that this was the first person I knew at church who came out. It was the way his family reacted.

When this young man came out, he decided to wear an earring in his right ear to show his orientation publicly. It was a big deal at that time for men to pierce their ears and everyone would clearly know what that meant. His parents were furious and gave him an ultimatum that he would either remove his piercing or not live in their home. He did not. They kicked him out.

Even now, that is shocking to me. I cannot imagine cutting off a family member for anything that feels so minor as sexual orientation. At the time, I wondered if they didn't love him anymore and how they could cut him off if they still loved him.