45 years of marriage has confirmed one thing for me. I would not have had anything to do with polygamy. I regret suppressing my misgivings and anger about it and the patriarchy for so many years. No longer...
There’s so much grief realizing how much you limited yourself because of the church’s high standards/expectations. I kept telling myself it was OK at the time because that’s what was expected. But it was not the wedding I wanted. My two sisters are some of the most important people in my life and they both could not attend. One was not active and one was too young. My cousin, who is my best friend also did not go because she was not endowed. The exclusion is not family centered at all. At a place that’s supposed to be all about families.
...and yet I am still shocked that so many prefer temple weddings when the church has finally decided a civil wedding is fine with a sealing later. It's like we have been conditioned to not care that family & friends are important too us on the most important day??? I don't know....it's hard. ~C
These thoughts are all so profound and inspiring. It was 20 years after my temple marriage when it hit me how much it must have hurt my father to have to stand outside the building as his oldest daughter was married inside. The God I believe doesn’t divides families in such a way.
I mourn so deeply for who we have excluded over the years. And all of a sudden it's ok to have that civil wedding....so did it ever matter? It appears not. ~C
Dear Godde! The wisdom of these women is a relief. To see the hot mess of patriarchy for the harmful system that it is and to allow themselves and their children to walk the eff away, as needed. I spent decades speaking up and pushing back, but now I'm done with it. Nelson and Oaks are polygamists and are poisoning our young people with their domineering, harmful, and subversive messages. Don't play small because others can't swim. There is no future in the church for women.
So much that the church robbed from me. My husband and I have been married for 50 years and I still mourn the loss of a beautiful dress, my sister and brother not able to attend (they were teenagers). As I have attended weddings since then I realize that I didn't get to say anything to my beloved, to write my own vows. We thought about having a 50th ceremony to capture at least some of the things we lost. Instead we lost my mother and were celebrating her life on our 50th anniversary.
Oh the heartache from realizing too late all that the church stole from us. I did not have a temple wedding as I married a nonmember, but my younger sister did. Our mum was so proud of her.
Our dad waited outside along with other family members who had not joined the church. Such an arrogant and condescending practice of the so called only true church.
Save your children from the grips and threats of eternal damnation.
Live your life for you, now.
As Mary Oliver said best, “What will you do with your one wild and precious life?”
45 years of marriage has confirmed one thing for me. I would not have had anything to do with polygamy. I regret suppressing my misgivings and anger about it and the patriarchy for so many years. No longer...
thanks for always speaking up about the hard stuff Scott! ~C
There’s so much grief realizing how much you limited yourself because of the church’s high standards/expectations. I kept telling myself it was OK at the time because that’s what was expected. But it was not the wedding I wanted. My two sisters are some of the most important people in my life and they both could not attend. One was not active and one was too young. My cousin, who is my best friend also did not go because she was not endowed. The exclusion is not family centered at all. At a place that’s supposed to be all about families.
...and yet I am still shocked that so many prefer temple weddings when the church has finally decided a civil wedding is fine with a sealing later. It's like we have been conditioned to not care that family & friends are important too us on the most important day??? I don't know....it's hard. ~C
These thoughts are all so profound and inspiring. It was 20 years after my temple marriage when it hit me how much it must have hurt my father to have to stand outside the building as his oldest daughter was married inside. The God I believe doesn’t divides families in such a way.
I mourn so deeply for who we have excluded over the years. And all of a sudden it's ok to have that civil wedding....so did it ever matter? It appears not. ~C
Dear Godde! The wisdom of these women is a relief. To see the hot mess of patriarchy for the harmful system that it is and to allow themselves and their children to walk the eff away, as needed. I spent decades speaking up and pushing back, but now I'm done with it. Nelson and Oaks are polygamists and are poisoning our young people with their domineering, harmful, and subversive messages. Don't play small because others can't swim. There is no future in the church for women.
So much that the church robbed from me. My husband and I have been married for 50 years and I still mourn the loss of a beautiful dress, my sister and brother not able to attend (they were teenagers). As I have attended weddings since then I realize that I didn't get to say anything to my beloved, to write my own vows. We thought about having a 50th ceremony to capture at least some of the things we lost. Instead we lost my mother and were celebrating her life on our 50th anniversary.
Oh the heartache from realizing too late all that the church stole from us. I did not have a temple wedding as I married a nonmember, but my younger sister did. Our mum was so proud of her.
Our dad waited outside along with other family members who had not joined the church. Such an arrogant and condescending practice of the so called only true church.
Save your children from the grips and threats of eternal damnation.
Live your life for you, now.
As Mary Oliver said best, “What will you do with your one wild and precious life?”