Episode 107: In Search of Self — A Conversation with C.A. Larson
Having learned about her well-defined role as a wife and mother from the time she is a young girl, when and how does a Latter-day Saint woman develop an understanding of who she is as an individual? Over time, not living in alignment with our true self is exhausting, and may be detrimental to health and happiness. ‘Finding yourself’ may sound cliché, but self-discovery is key to making choices about our life and identity that will lead to personal fulfillment. Therapist C.A. Larson joins Cynthia and Susan for a conversation about some of the unique challenges LDS women may face in our search for Self.
Notes & Quotes:
How to Begin Your Self-Discovery Journey: 16 Best Questions, Positive Psychology, by Nicole Celestine, 11/13/2021
Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience, by Brene Brown
When the Heart Waits: Spiritual Direction for Life’s Sacred Questions, by Sue Monk Kidd
“When a person experiences a large discrepancy between their lived and real selves, they are likely to experience a sense of alienation from themselves. This remains true even if the person is successful in their activities and receives external rewards.
“Such a person may often notice themselves wondering, ‘Why am I doing this when it’s not who I really am?’ The consequence is a feeling of guilt or dissatisfaction if we fail to live up to an idealized version of ourselves that we cannot be.When we cannot live in alignment with our true selves, we must spend energy attempting to deny and distort our experiences to make sense of a pervasive lack of happiness and personal fulfillment. This ongoing effort can go so far as to produce psychological states and conditions such as depression. This is why self-discovery is so important.” —Nicole Celestine
“We need to be prepared for others’ reactions to us and be patient with them, too. While it may not be easy to get used to change in oneself, it can be even more difficult for those around us. After all, what happens when the pleaser stops pleasing? What happens when Rapunzel stops looking to everyone else to rescue her and begins to climb out of the tower on her own? How do people respond when their favorite martyr ceases to sacrifice her life on the altar of duty? When the dawn of a fuller spirituality appears and a new aspect of the true self pushes itself up into the light, how will people around us respond? Will they like our new wings?” —Sue Monk Kidd