ALSSI Newsletter
October 2021
I was driving through to pick up fast food the other day and when the kid handed me my drink—I had ordered plain carbonated water, which I like a lot—he said, "Are you sure that's what you want? People don't actually drink that. I don't think you want it." I told him I really like it, and many people do drink it, just not as many as drink flavored soda. He said, "Okay...but I REALLY don't think you want it. It’s not a real drink." I chalked it up to him being a kid, but I've continued to think about that exchange since.
It's similar to something I've experienced a lot over the years at church. I tell someone how I see or think about a thing, and they correct me. Their reply begins with something like, But we believe... or The prophet says... or You should probably... or There's a scripture... or Maybe you should pray more about that.
There are all kinds of ways well-meaning church members shut each other down. We do it every time we try to redirect the thoughts, ideas, and expressions of other members by testifying and pointing them toward our personal beliefs. When someone is brave enough to share, they may even get scolded for their own experiences! I’m sure I’ve done it too, without ever thinking about how my self-assured opinions might land. In a context where we're so used to talking about truth, it can be hard to remember that every viewpoint is just that—a view from a point. We're all standing in our individual lives, and the view can look very different depending on where those lives have taken us.
With so many differences, what an opportunity we have when we gather! We could probably get much closer to truth if we’d just allow everyone to describe what they see.
Does that mean there's no room for capital-T truth? Not necessarily, but I feel any Truth must have room to hold the true experiences of all God's children, not just a few. That's why I find focusing on faith, hope, and love to be more useful than talking about truth. And why I feel listening to the experiences of others must be where my personal search for Truth actually begins. I'll never see people as God sees them—and certainly never love as God loves—unless I become willing to meet them and accept the truth of their story, right where they are.
—Susan
While we’re (kinda) on the subject of Grace —
Since we’re on break between seasons this month, at the request of a listener we’re featuring a transcript from Season 1, Episode 16. As Cindy put it in her email, “I still don’t believe my own stuff!” We know just how she feels…
You can find the transcript from our conversation, We Don’t Believe Our Own Stuff: Grace Edition by clicking here.
(The original conversation lives here.)
“I do not at all understand the mystery of grace—only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.”
— Anne Lamott
Meanwhile…tired of eating lunch alone?
We are too—let’s try something different!
Many thanks to all who participated in our October Ladies’ Night In. For November, we’ve decided to shake things up by hosting a lunchtime gathering instead. If your schedule hasn’t allowed you to join us, we hope this might give you an opportunity to attend. Whether you live in a faraway time zone, work evenings, have kids’ activities, or anything else that makes it difficult for you to tune in at night, please plan to take part in our first daytime discussion! Our friend Clare McFadyen will be joining us from the UK to lead off the conversation.
ALSSI Ladies’ Lunch Hour
Friday, November 12
12:00 noon, Mountain Time
Link: https://meet.google.com/zqg-kxnv-zwn
“We have all known the long loneliness, and we have found that the answer is community.”
— Dorothy Day
And now…buckle up…because we’re almost ready to GO!
Season 4 is just a few weeks away. Hopefully we’ve planned discussions around some of the topics you’ve wanted to visit!
Stay tuned—we’ll be talking about:
the sticky question of female ordination
uncovering and understanding resentments
sexual abuse
the intersection between personality and church life
the importance of Self
…and a whole lot of other stuff. Who knows where we might end up?
Watch our social media for details, and look for a new episode each Tuesday, beginning November 9.
“Life is a conversation. Make it a good one.”
— Glennon Doyle
Meanwhile…what to wear?
ALSSI Merch is in the shop and perfect for just about any occasion…well, any occasion where you can wear a tee, sweatshirt, or hoodie, that is.
You can find it all here!
There’s also a link on our website.
We’re offering these items in an effort to build community, not raise money—we only receive about $1/item, so if you want to support the project financially, a simple donation is still best.
But we really hope you’ll want to support the women around you by wearing our red lips logo, a signal that you’re a ‘safe’ person—willing to listen, and ready to speak up.
Send us a photo!
“When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible.”
—Brene Brown
WARNING: Wearing an ALSSI tee may cause an increased appetite for…cake!
We’ve got you covered there too—this month with a cake that’s perfect for any fall day:
I’ve been working on a Cranberry Orange snack cake. I started with a cranberry bread recipe and amped it up to make it worthy of being a cake. After a couple tries I think I perfected it. I ate a slice before dinner. Or two. It’s fluffy, rich, and flavorful.
— Cynthia
CYNTHIA’S CRANBERRY ORANGE CAKE
2 cups (10 ounces) all purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
2/3 cup sour cream
1/3 cups orange juice
1 teaspoon vanilla
6 tablespoons soft butter
1 cup (7 ounces) sugar
Zest of one orange
1 egg
6 ounces fresh or frozen cranberries
Preheat oven to 350°. Combine flour, salt, baking powder and soda in medium bowl. Set aside.
In small bowl combine the sugar and zest. Rub the zest into the sugar with your fingers until fragrant. Reserve approximately two tablespoons to sprinkle on top of cake.
In a glass measuring cup or bowl whisk the sour cream, vanilla, and orange juice.
In stand mixer beat butter and ‘orange sugar’ until light and fluffy, 2-3 minutes . Add egg and beat another minute. Alternately add sour cream mixture and flour, usually in three alternating steps. Fold in cranberries.
Spread the thick batter into a greased 8x8” pan or a 9” deep dish pie plate. Bake 35 minutes or until toothpick poked in center comes out mostly clean.
PS: Zest the orange first and then squeeze out the juice.
Thanks—
For continuing to share with us, and talk with each other, about your lives and experiences as Latter-day Saint women. Creating space to have these important conversations is sacred work. We feel lucky to be part of the At Last She Said It community. This thriving, hopeful, growy space exists because you heard our idea, then showed up until it became real. We’re deeply grateful.
— Cynthia and Susan