ALSSI Newsletter
October 2023
Hello!
We’re just about halfway through Season 7…
Things have been moving in fast-motion around here and we’re pretty tired! Thanks for all the ways you’ve been showing up for us so far this season. We’re excited for the second half!
Let’s start our October newsletter with a message from Cynthia:
All Aboard the Train of Grace
After listening to hundreds of women over the years, one thing has become evident: they’re scared to death of Grace. It simply sounds too good to be true to their LDS ears. I get it, you can’t belong to a church that has the mascot of a beehive and not absorb the message that your hard work is what makes you a worthy Latter-day Saint woman.
I’ve thought a lot about scriptures that call out the shrug-your-shoulders attitude of those just “looking” to sin. Scriptures like 2 Nephi 28, verse 8: “And there shall also be many which shall say: Eat, drink, and be merry; nevertheless, fear God—he will justify in committing a little sin; yea, lie a little, take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this…. and if it so be that we are guilty, God will beat us with a few stripes, and at last we shall be saved in the kingdom of God.”
Mmmm-kay, except there was no eating, drinking, and merriment for me. Well, I did eat Cheetos on the couch waaaay too much. But I never dug a proverbial pit to trap neighbors. I never lied to anyone. I didn’t take advantage of anyone. In short, I never went after people I loved nor had any kind of laissez-faire attitude towards the quest to understand if the grace of Jesus could really be The Way out of my own dark pit. For myself, I know that there was only crying to the God of the bathroom floor, endless reading of talks by church leaders (no joke, I found the 3-ring binder of conference talks under my bed yesterday), meditative prayers where I would envision myself walking into a room and laying my backpack full of rocks on the altar. And lots and lots of this two word prayer: “help me.”
By now, I have seen the same seriousness from hundreds of interactions with women. I haven't heard a single person yet that left me thinking, wow, she’s sure trying to justify sin! Quite the opposite. If there’s one thing I know about LDS women it is this: we know how to be that overworked bee. So when the train of Worthiness, or the train of Enoughness, or the train of Damn Hard Worker Bee dead ends at the train station, what are you going to do? That dead end train forced me to say another two-word prayer: “Now what?”
Some people think accepting grace is taking the easy way out. (Beware–these are usually the same people that think ‘just love’ is the easy way out too. Pffff!) Maybe it is for some. I can’t speak for them because surrendering to grace has actually been the harder way for this life-long hustler, someone constantly using the ruler to see how I and others measured up. At least at first it was harder. Accepting and surrendering to the Grace Train has required a lot of unlearning, letting go, and analyzing my life-long conditioning. Once I accepted that Jesus was actually defining grace when he said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11: 28), it felt like arriving home on a train filled with good fruit. And I haven’t stopped eating yet.
*Source for Nadia quote
— Cynthia
If Jesus lived among us today, we might be surprised by how often he uses the ordinary metaphors of our lives to repair our imagination about God.
— Sarah Bessey
Mark your calendar:
November Ladies’ Lunch In
Wednesday, November 15
12:00 Noon Mountain
Watch your email/social media for discussion info and registration details!
“An evolving faith is simply faith that has adapted in order to survive.”
— Rachel Held Evans
Here’s a glimpse of our Fall Gathering!
230 ALSSIers came together in SLC to hear from some of our favorite women, share lunch, ask questions, and trade wisdom. If you were there, thank you for coming! If you weren’t, we hope to meet you at a live event soon.
There’s something healing about physically being with so many others who understand. A group-project love settles over the room as we sit side by side, laying down individual worries, struggle, anxiety, confusion, or uncertainty. There’s nothing so many willing women can’t carry together! Even though our roads may be different, when we sit with one another we’re no longer traveling alone. The destination feels less important than discussing what each of us sees as we make our individual way. That’s the magic of these gatherings.
We’re pleased to announce that as a result of so many generous donations, we now have a scholarship fund to help make our events available to even more women.
After some reeeally good naps, we’ll be ready to start planning the next one!
Meanwhile, if you haven’t yet, we hope you’ll…
…join us for a Friday Chat soon! They’re live on Substack, Friday mornings from 10:00-Noon Mountain. If you want to check out past conversations, click chat on our homepage to see previous prompts and get a taste. It’s so much better than social media! We’ll be paywalling these soon to keep their cozy feel, but for now we’re giving all subscribers a chance to get hooked before the switch. We hope you’ll love it like we do!
The only way to make room is to drag all our stories into that room. That’s how it gets bigger.
—Melissa Febos
Season 7 brings a new series:
Embracing Your Journey
We’ve only aired 2 so far (Episode 151 with Aubrey Chavez, and Episode 157 with Mer Monson), but we couldn’t be more excited about our new Embracing Your Journey series of interviews. We’re talking with Latter-day Saint women about standing at the intersection of their individual spiritual lives and their church experiences: how they got there, what it looks like, how it feels, where they’ve been, and where they’re going next. There are many more of these conversations in the works—it’s one more way we’re trying to amplify women’s voices, and a series that’s sure to become a hallmark of the ALSSI podcast.
Sometimes things turn out even better than we expect them to!
That’s been the case with our new Substack publication, Say More: At Last She Writes It. We’ve published 3 issues so far, and the 4th is scheduled to drop November 2. If you missed them or want to pass them on to someone else (hint hint!), you can always find all the issues here.
If you want to write for Say More, we’d love to include your voice! Email us at atlastshewritesit@gmail.com and we’ll gladly send you our submission guidelines.
If you’re still a little confused about Substack (we do get questions!) it’s the platform we’re using for this newsletter and other announcements you get via email, our Say More newsletter, and our Friday Chats. There’s an app you can download if you like, or just access it all on the web here.
A free subscription will get you this newsletter, a paid subscription is a great way to support the ALSSI project and everything we do! We’re phasing in paid subscription benefits, so up to this point everything has been free while we build our base, but soon you’ll be seeing an occasional paywall pop up. We know that can be frustrating, but please know our main goal is to keep the ALSSI podcast ad-free. Your generosity is how we’re continuing to grow.
If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.
― Pema Chodron
Now…what’s a newsletter without dessert?
Perfectly chewy and perfectly autumn. A favorite visiting teacher first brought me these cookies a good 35 years ago and I’ve made them every fall since! I still have the recipe card in her handwriting. — Susan
Mom’s Marvelous Molasses Cookies
3/4 c shortening
1 c sugar (plus more for baking)
1 egg, beaten (I don’t bother)
1/4 c molasses
2 c flour
2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
3/4 tsp ginger
Cream shortening, sugar, molasses, and egg. Add dry ingredients, mix well. Roll in balls; roll balls in sugar. Bake 8 mins at 350°.
We can’t say it enough —
Whether it’s reading or writing Say More, logging on for a Ladies’ Lunch In discussion, attending a live event, adding your 2 cents to a Friday Chat, commenting, sharing, or just hitting like on a post, YOU make this community the amazing place of safety and support it has become. Once again, thank you for every way you’re here!
Warmly,
Susan, Cynthia, and the ALSSI Team