ALSSI Newsletter

January 2024

Is there anything more brave or hopeful than snowdrops?

Hello!

Happy 2024! We’re making splendid progress toward spring (I know, easy to say from AZ) and also toward the end of our current podcast season. Look for the Season 7 finale to drop this coming Tuesday, Jan 30.

We’ve enjoyed this episode cycle so much, it’s hard to want to take a break, but we need to refuel…and you probably need a chance to catch up! Our Season 7 conversations span episodes 150-173. The big addition this time was our Embracing Your Journey series, and these episodes became our new favorites. If you missed one, we hope you’ll go back and pick it up. We spoke with Aubrey Chaves (151), Mer Monson (157), Debbie Squires-Coleman (161), Lyric Montgomery Kinard (166), and Lisa Torcasso Downing (169)

We often ask guests as part of our lightning round questions to name a woman they look up to—because of these interviews, I have 5 new answers to that question! I loved learning how 5 very different women are navigating the intersection of their church and personal spiritual lives, and was inspired by the bravery and hope I found in each story. If you’re at a crossroads or looking for your own way forward, these conversations provide a place to relax and set it all down while you discern your next steps. You’re not walking alone!

Finally, for this month’s newsletter we’re excited to feature a message from Tiffany Wilhelm, one of our ALSSI team members. Tiffany designs the graphics for social media that go along with each week’s episode. She’s also responsible for any great swag you’ve collected at our live gatherings—if you’re wearing an ALSSI sweatshirt, hat or enamel pin, you probably have Tiffany to thank! Cynthia and I are never sure how we managed to get the amazing volunteers we have—one of the great privileges of working with these remarkable friends is participating in an ongoing conversation about all-things-LDS-women behind the scenes. They have such wise insights, and today’s message from Tiffany is Exhibit A.
— Susan

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Spiritual Allergies

Cillins and cephalosporins. Those are the classes of medication that fall under “known allergies” on any of my medical forms. And this allergy—which has been around since I was a child—almost always complicates things when I need a prescription for antibiotics. We’ve found some go-tos over the years, which usually work, but my doctors are always a little cautious that I’ll eventually develop a resistance to the ones that I can currently tolerate.

It’s too bad there’s no official form for me to mark my spiritual allergies. Because it feels like nearly every time I sit through a church meeting, I’m given religious prescriptions for which I’ve started to develop adverse reactions. Hearing about all the things I need to do, and the ways in which I need to do them, has begun to make me…itchy. (Same with being told all the ways my children and spouse should be behaving.) 

Just like a penicillin prescription isn’t going to work for everyone, neither will prescriptive spiritual advice. What may work wonders for one person might yield intense side effects for another. Some might even be severe enough to counteract any potential benefits. And unfortunately there are individuals for which a certain medication (or religious practice) is downright dangerous and toxic, even if it works for the majority of others. And just like I would never take medicine for an illness I don’t have, or take advice from a podiatrist about my bladder, perhaps the solution my neighbor up the road insists is necessary for my salvation may not actually be the best for, or even suited to, my spiritual health. 

So when life handed me an unexpected mixed-faith marriage and I had my eyes opened to the messiness of Mormonism, I suddenly had some complicated reactions to things I heard at church. What worked for so many years was no longer tolerated by my individual or family system. The prescription I’d had on autofill was suddenly causing major issues, despite being cautioned to keep taking it indefinitely. 

In my fascination to learn more about prescriptive language, I learned that its opposite is descriptive language. Which according to the experts, “observes and records how language is actually used without any judgment.” That sounds amazing. Can I please have more of that on Sundays? I would love to sit through a lesson where we can describe what works for us in our individual spiritual lives without implying that it should work for everyone else too! We don’t bat an eyelash at people having different reactions to medicine, so let’s celebrate how diverse our souls are and acknowledge that a one-size-fits-all approach rarely works. And I’ll also take a second helping of ‘without judgment.’   

So the next time someone tries to write you a spiritual prescription, remember that you get to decide if it’s actually healthy and necessary for you to “fill it” or not.

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Tiffany is a Utah native and night-owl graphic designer who could eat chips and salsa on repeat. She wants to see the world and needs warm socks. She and her husband are figuring out how to raise 4 fierce daughters when sometimes it’s just…complicated. Tiffany is extremely grateful to be part of the ALSSI Team. 

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For your calendar:

If you haven’t dropped in on a Substack live Friday Chat yet, we hope you will! These are great on your phone with the app, if you have it. Depending on your settings, you can receive a notification when each new thread starts. On your computer, just click chat in the menu on the ALSSI page to find all our past chats or participate in a new one. Please note we’ll be taking Friday, Feb 2 off from our normal live chat. Remember on that day—as well as any other day!—you’re free to start one of your own. We hope you will. ALSSI chats are a great place to find or offer support in a more intimate setting than social media. Try it!

You may have noticed there’s no Ladies’ Night In on the above schedule. As a result of the responses to our recent survey, we’ve decided to take a break from those meetings for a while. This doesn’t mean they won’t ever come back—if you miss them, let us know and we’ll consider a reboot! In the meantime, we’re a little obsessed with the opportunity for ongoing online conversation on Substack and hope to keep growing that space. Chats are available any time, so if you can’t be online when one is happening, feel free to go in later to catch up and add your 2 cents!

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Please make note —

Our inaugural book club meeting is coming February 22 at 7:00 pm mtn. You can register to receive a Zoom link for the meeting here. We’ll be discussing Richard Rohr’s Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life. This book was revised and updated in November 2023, with a new foreword by Brene Brown. If you haven’t read it, now’s the time! If you have, you’ll know it’s one of those books that’s definitely worth revisiting every so often. Add a layer of Brene and…well…it’s likely better than ever. Hope to see you there!

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Bad News/Good News:

Bad news: paywall. Good news: it needn’t stop you! It’s annoying, we know. But if you came up against our paywall unexpectedly this month while trying to access Say More or join a chat, we hope you’ll be patient. We really do think this is a great funding tool for the podcast and a useful platform for expanding our content offerings and building community. As of this week, everyone who already supports ALSSI at the paid subscription level ($7/mo or $75/yr) should have total access on Substack. If not, let us know and we’ll fix it! And if you can’t swing a subscription now, reach out to us via email and we’ll hook you up. No need to explain a thing. We don’t want anyone to miss out on this community. And please accept our sincere thanks for your continued support! ❤️

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Speaking of Say More …

Our next two issues are scheduled to drop February 9th and 22nd. We hope you’re enjoying some of the written voices in this community. We’re thrilled to be able to bring more women’s thoughts and insights to you!

If you have something to submit, you’ll find a link to our guidelines anytime on our website, or you can read them now by clicking here.

We’re always open to just about anything you want to share, but at this time we also have two specific calls for submissions.

First:

There are so many ways to say things, and not all of them involve words. Are you a visual artist? Do you know someone who is? We’d love to start including artwork from the ALSSI community in Say More! Submit images to atlastshewritesit@gmail.com.

Next:

In 2024 we’re planning to put together some themed issues, and the first will focus on Mother’s Day. Have something you wish you heard at church but never do? How about things you absolutely do NOT want to hear from anyone, anywhere? Send us your best, your worst, and everything in between. It’ll be a Mother’s Day offering by women, for women . . . at last!

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That’s it for now!

The podcast may be on break for a couple of months, but the community will be right here. Look for ALSSI on social media, Substack, and in your inbox. We already have things we can’t wait to talk about in Season 8! In the meantime, we’ll look forward to chatting here, there, and pretty much anywhere women of faith are coming together to talk about complicated things. Thanks for listening!

With love,

Cynthia, Susan,
and the ALSSI Team

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