ALSSI Newsletter
February 2022
A few week’s ago was my stake’s LGBTQ family group meeting. We sit in a circle to talk, share, and ask each other questions. During this meeting I decided to share that I’m kind of in a tough space right now. Ever since Episode 81, We Don’t Believe Our Own Stuff–Revelation, when I read that Bruce R. McConkie quote where he said in regards to the priesthood-temple ban being lifted, “Forget everything that I have said…We spoke with a limited understanding and without the light and knowledge that now has come into the world….We have now added a new flood of intelligence and light on this particular subject, and it erases all the darkness, and all the views and all the thoughts of the past.”
In that moment as I read that statement on the podcast, I realized more than anything I want to hear a similar statement today with some kind of announcement that things are going to get better for our LGBTQ friends, children, and siblings in the church. It makes me weep to think we maybe could get there someday. And it makes me weep today that we aren’t there yet.
I can’t acknowledge the elephant in the room at these official church meetings. The church policies are the reason our kids have been traumatized. Having a gay child is not difficult! It’s such a blessing! However, the church is difficult to navigate. I came home that night feeling really muzzled because I am now used to saying all the things with Susan on the podcast! And yet I agree to obey the rules when I attend this meeting. So I don’t mention the elephant. I'm not there to bulldoze the beliefs of others anyway. I try really hard to be sensitive to what others believe, but that doesn’t make it any easier on my Mama Heart.
So many of us parents have received our own revelation about our LGTBQ kiddos, but it would be great if some revelation came from the top so that our babies stop being hurt in the house of their friends. Jesus had pretty strong words about those who hurt babies: “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” (Matthew 18:6)
Those are pretty strong words coming from the Prince of Peace but it’s how I know that protecting our children is paramount. I look forward to that “new flood of intelligence and light on this particular subject.”
— Cynthia
"There are no dark emotions—just unskillful ways of coping with emotions we cannot bear. The emotions themselves are conduits of pure energy that want something from us: to wake us up, to tell us something we need to know, to break the ice around our hearts, to move us to act.”
— Barbara Brown Taylor, Learning to Walk in the Dark
Now, on to the day’s business —
Our February Ladies’ Lunch In turned out to be the best meeting we’ve ever had! Both our daytime gatherings have been well attended, so we’ve decided going forward to switch back and forth between evenings and lunches. Hopefully this gives more women in every time zone an opportunity to join our discussions. In addition, we’re moving these meetings to Zoom, so we’re going to ask you to register in advance, and Zoom will generate the link for you in a confirmation email. All you need to do to register is enter your name and your email address by following the link below. Simple! If you have questions or concerns, reach out and let us know.
March Ladies’ Night In
Thursday, March 24
7:00 pm Mountain
Registration link:
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZIpd-ihpjspH9GbbtJj3oOmYqNxFZHUBodr
We hope you’ll join us!
“I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart.
I am. I am. I am.”
In other news…
We’re getting really excited for our upcoming ALSSI Gathering in the Phoenix area March 11-12. If you’re planning to attend, we can’t wait to meet you! If you’re still deciding, we can tell you the women helping us plan this event have gone above and beyond to put together something we hope you’ll enjoy. Registration will continue until March 5. You can find more details and register under Events at our website, or do it now by clicking right here.
“Honor the space between no longer and not yet.”
— Nancy Levin
It’s been a busy month on the podcast, and on our social media!
Our podcast episodes in February have been part of one ongoing conversation about giving ourselves permission to take the spiritual journey we’re already on, and follow willingly where it leads.
Need a larger God? Figure out what that means for you, then do whatever works for you to pursue the relationship you’re looking for.
Need to trust yourself? Lean into personal revelation—it’s a gift you already have.
Finding yourself in uncomfortable or unfamiliar territory? Grab the metaphorical Doritos and Netflix and just hang out until you feel ready to start walking again. You’ll know what to do, and when to do it.
Can there be peace on such an unpredictable journey? Sure, because it turns out we all have tools to make peace for ourselves.
“Part of spiritual capacity is to tolerate uncertainty. We think of spirituality as having all the answers and I’ve got it nailed down, we love that idea. But really it’s more about the ability to tolerate what we don’t yet know, what we can’t control.”
— Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife
Our listeners had a lot to share in response to our ideas about moving through times of personal spiritual uncertainty. . .
“At first the questions brought to me made me uncomfortable and ‘unsafe’. I realized I was pushing back because I didn’t have the answers. But now I really feel confident in sitting with those questions and waiting WITH and FOR God. My faith is what has carried me thus far and an assurance that the Lord is with us all in the sitting. It makes me have a greater respect for FAITH and what it requires of someone. KNOWING isn’t faith.”
— @krisnbri on IG
“I feel like I’ve been led into a hallway and then the door locked behind me. My other mental image, which I hope is true, is that my spiritual house is being remodeled and upgraded and I’m going to be inconvenienced and cooking on a camp stove until everything is refurbished. Only I’m the labor force and I don’t have instructions…”
— @jazzalotte on IG
“The darkness, the stopper, the liminal space is a clue to being ON ‘the path.’ The iron rod is there. ‘…and they did press forward through the mist of darkness, clinging to the rod of iron, even until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree.’ (1 Ne 8:24)”
— @mechellewingle on IG
“I love the visual I see in my mind when you talk about being in the in-between and in the hallway. I feel like that so much. I never thought I would be so grateful for uncertainty. Although at times I mourn for the certainty of my youth and my church mission, I am happy that I feel such liberation and joy in my uncertainty.”
—Anne C. on our website
…and about a few other topics that came up this month, too!
“…But I do know some things. I know that I have *something* with the power of God, and it's connected to the temple. I know that I do NOT have to ASK for the priesthood. I know that I understand about the power of God at least as well as many men do. I know that it is NOT inappropriate for women to seek to understand where we fit into that power, and it IS inappropriate for men to attempt to block us from seeking that understanding (the very definition of unrighteous dominion).
“…I would be entirely dismissed if I were to actually SAY any of this to a man, because yes, I'm angry. And when I'm angry, I get emotional and I am at my least articulate. It ain't pretty. Here on the internet, I can edit and tweak it so it comes out clearly, but then I'm dismissed as apostate.
“I. Will. Never. Win.”
—Trina C. on FB
“There's a brand-new, never before generation of women right now wanting all these things. It's happening, I feel it.”
—The Soulful Woman on FB
“I’m tired of cake. I don’t want any more cake.”
— No one, ever.
HOWEVER —
On the off chance you feel bad about eating cake for breakfast and therefore wish you could make a different dessert food to eat for breakfast…this month we have you covered!
Cynthia’s Cheater Cinnamon Rolls
Melt one stick of butter and then just measure out what you need for each step.
CINNAMON-SUGAR FILLING
3⁄4 cup dark brown sugar (packed, 5 1⁄4 ounces) 1⁄4 cup granulated sugar (1 3⁄4 ounces)
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1⁄8 teaspoon ground cloves
1⁄8 teaspoon table salt
1 tablespoon unsalted butter, melted
BISCUIT DOUGH
2 1⁄2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour (12 1⁄2 ounces), plus additional flour for work surface
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 1⁄4 teaspoons baking powder
1⁄2 teaspoon baking soda
1⁄2 teaspoon table salt
1 1⁄4 cups buttermilk
6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
ICING
2 T. cream cheese, softened OR 2 T. sour cream can be substituted
2 T. buttermilk
1 cup powdered sugar
INSTRUCTIONS
1. Adjust oven rack to upper-middle position and heat oven to 425 degrees. Pour 1 tablespoon melted butter in 9-inch nonstick cake pan or comparable oval pan; brush to coat pan.
2. To make cinnamon-sugar filling: Combine sugars, spices, and salt in small bowl. Add 1 tablespoon melted butter and stir with fork or fingers.
3. To make biscuit dough: Whisk flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in large bowl. Whisk buttermilk and 2 tablespoons melted butter in measuring cup or small bowl. Add liquid to dry ingredients and stir with wooden spoon until liquid is absorbed (dough will look very shaggy), about 30 seconds. Transfer dough to lightly floured work surface and knead until just smooth and no longer shaggy.
4. Pat dough with hands into 12 by 9-inch rectangle. Brush dough with 2 Tablespoons melted butter. Dump sugar mixture onto dough and press into dough. Cut with dental floss into 8 rolls, and arrange buns in buttered cake pan. Brush with 2 tablespoons remaining melted butter. Bake until edges are golden brown, 23 to 25 minutes. Use offset metal spatula to loosen buns from pan; without separating, slide buns out of pan onto greased cooling rack. Cool about 5 minutes before icing.
5. To make icing and finish buns: While buns are cooling, line rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper (for easy cleanup); set rack with buns over baking sheet. Whisk cream cheese and buttermilk bowl until thick and smooth (mixture will look like cottage cheese at first). Sift powdered sugar over; whisk until smooth glaze forms, about 30 seconds. Spoon glaze evenly over buns; serve immediately.
Thank you!
For listening, for reading, for emailing, for voice messaging, for liking, for sharing, for showing up for us and for each other as part of the At Last She Said It community. Every time you do, we’re all less alone.
— Cynthia and Susan
Thank you for your words Cynthia. I have also wept because we're not there yet. And I agree, it is trauma. I'm so proud of our kids for walking away from a place that isn't welcoming and doesn't represent God's message of love. It's sad that the Church no longer has their voices. I also feel muzzled and it's taking its toll. I have been grateful to hear my thoughts expressed in the ALSSI podcast and to find great books that speak to me (like Learning to Walk in the Dark). It reminds me that I'm not walking this path alone. Thanks for creating a place that unites. -Sara