Happy Summer!
When I was teaching RS, one of my main goals was to help the sisters get a sense of who was in that room. I’d spent my whole life sitting in church thinking I was the only one who didn’t feel or believe a certain way, or who was experiencing things that made church hard for me. So I figured if I could get women to share their real things, maybe our RS could become a space of belonging.
My goals approaching the ALSSI project were the same—amplify women’s voices and experiences in order to create space for all. It’s why we’ll be adding a new way for women to share this fall, publishing personal essays here on Substack.
My favorite Joseph Smith insight is, “By proving contraries, truth is made manifest.” I believe by proving the diversity of life experiences of its members, a church is made true.
So with that introduction, I’m pleased to share a message today not from Cynthia or myself, but from Blakelee Ellis, who facilitates our Zoom discussion groups as part of the ALSSI team…take it away, Blakelee!
—Susan
A New Faith, Not a Lost One
One of the biggest mysteries in the New Testament is Peter’s denial of Christ. The scriptures tell us that Peter is willing to go with Christ “both to prison and to death,” (Luke 22:33) and then in what seems to be a relatively short time, is denying he even knows Him. This account has us all asking “Why, Peter? Why?”
My gospel doctrine teacher suggested that perhaps Peter was not converted to Christ. She used the phrase “When thou art converted” (Luke 22:32) as evidence that Peter had a testimony of the Savior but was lacking true life-changing conversion. Because Peter was not truly converted, his conviction faded, and when the going got tough, he gave up.
The discussion easily pivoted to explain why many people are choosing to no longer participate in church. The implied message is this: some people ‘off the covenant path’ might have a testimony of Jesus Christ, but they aren’t truly converted to Him. They once had, and then lost, conviction and faith in Christ. Life got challenging, inconvenient and they threw in the towel. If they were truly faithful, truly converted to Jesus, they would be in the pews on Sunday, paying tithing, and spending date night at the temple every Friday night. They would be ‘all in.’
I’m not usually at a loss for words, but I froze. All I could do was grimace at the floor while my emotions swirled. Before I could formulate a response, the conversation shifted. I’d lost my chance to change the narrative.
With time and space, I’ve formulated a response. It’s the written version of the perfect comeback, an ‘I should have said...’ moment. This is what I wanted to say:
“You are talking about the person who is no longer ‘all in’. I’m right here. I’m the person who doesn’t pay tithing, doesn’t have a calling or a current temple recommend. I’m here searching for God, Christ, and community, just like you. I don’t claim to know much, but one of the most painful and liberating things I have come to know is that Christ IS NOT the Church. I haven’t lost my faith in Christ, but I have lost a certain brand of faith: the faith fueled by a subscribed checklist and drenched in fear. That faith left me empty.
“God swooped in and filled the void with a different faith. One stoked by grace and love.
”The faith that we are the one true church with sole ownership of divine truth is gone. In its place is a soul saturated by a Christ that loves and speaks to all of humanity in ways as diverse as humanity itself.
”I’ve lost faith in the belief that a prophet has more clout with God than I could ever hope to have. Instead, I tend a faith planted in the hope that my relationship with Christ and the divine is my own and it can reflect my singular experience.
”I’ve lost faith in an organization that requires a membership fee to signal devotion. Now I have faith that God honors my choice to give in abundance within my own community.
”I’ve lost faith in the phrase ‘families can be together forever’ because I’ve witnessed things that tell me it’s only families that think, act, and look a certain way. For now, I let my faith rest on the phrase ‘all are alike unto God,’ and cling to grace.
“Christ is not the church. I haven’t lost my faith in Christ. I’ve lost my faith in the institution. That loss is a very different thing.”
— Blakelee
Looking ahead…
Our next event will be our July discussion group:
ALSSI Ladies’ Night In
Wednesday, July 26
7:00 pm Mountain
Watch our website and your email for registration details!
And while you’re looking at your calendar,
We hope you can join us for what promises to be a great day! We’re looking forward to meeting new friends, hearing inspiring speakers, and enjoying a delicious lunch together. Don’t miss it!
While the podcast is on break —
We’ll be updating some older episodes with a few new thoughts, and we’ve also planned a bonus or two. There’s no schedule, just keep an eye on our social media, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Speaking of social media,
during our break we’ll be posting some content from our archives. It’ll be a good reminder about episodes you may have missed, in case you want to go back and pick them up while you’re waiting for Season 7.
Reminder:
Sometimes people forget we have a website! If you’re ever in doubt about where to find a quote you liked, a link to information we referenced, a book we discussed, or an upcoming event, check our website. The sidebar has links to leave us a voicemail, subscribe to our newsletter, make a donation, purchase merchandise, or access our book list (on a phone, you’ll need to scroll down to find the sidebar links). You’ll also find ‘Notes & Quotes’ for each episode by clicking on the episode itself. If you still can’t find what you’re looking for, reach out and we’ll be happy to assist you.
At Last…She Baked Cake!
Here’s a perfect-for-summer recipe sized just right.
”Now that I don’t have children in the home, I have had to find new recipes that make very small batches of treats. And of course, cake is my favorite treat.” —Cynthia
Cynthia’s Mini Texas Sheet Cake
Cake
1/2 cup flour
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 tsp salt
4 T. Butter
2 T. Cocoa powder
1 egg
2 T. buttermilk or regular milk
1/4 cup water
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp vanilla
In a small saucepan, combine butter, cocoa, and water. Over medium hear, stir until butter melts and mixture comes to a simmer. Whisk the melted chocolate mixture into the rest of the cake ingredients until smooth. Pour into greased 9”x7” sheet pan. Bake at 350° for 10-15 minutes until toothpick inserted comes out clean. Immediately make frosting and pour over cake.
Frosting/Glaze
2 T. butter
2 T. buttermilk (or milk, or cream)
2 T. cocoa powder
1/4 cup of chocolate chips
1 cup powdered sugar
Pinch salt, some vanilla
Melt all these ingredients in same saucepan used before. Whisk until melted and simmering. Don’t boil! Pour over hot cake and spread.
Thanks for being part of this community!
At the end of our season, we took the opportunity to ask for financial support and so many listeners kindly stepped up to contribute! We thank you from the bottom of our hearts for ensuring the ALSSI project can not only continue, but grow. For all the ways you support our work—whether it’s with your ears, your words, or your dollars—we are truly grateful!
With love,
Cynthia & Susan
Katie, Tiffany & Blakelee
What episode talked about women and anger?