ALSSI Newsletter

January 2022

We've been talking a lot this month about how we access God, how we think about God, who controls our relationship with God, and the difficulties of navigating the shift from a high-demand religious life in which it can feel like someone else is the gatekeeper for everything from our personal worthiness to the language we use in our personal prayers, to a spiritual life in which religion is just one of the ways we access and understand the Divine. It can feel like a shifting path, which makes it hard to stay on your feet sometimes. But that's okay—in places I've had to just sit down in the middle of the road and wait until the road stops bucking enough for me to get up and start walking again.

If this resonates for you, you'll know what I'm talking about. If it doesn't, you might feel sorry or worried for me. But you needn't be worried—putting on my own spiritual shoes (in a size that finally fits!) has been the most beautiful experience. I've traded detailed ideas about the destination for peace on the journey. Best trade I ever made.

I've read it before, so you've heard it if you're a listener, but I wanted to share again a poem I wrote several years ago that continues to have deep meaning for me:

Babel

God speaks to us in any language
we can understand
God in birds, in trees
in wind, tall grass, its whisper
and its bend

God in pie, if it's the kind my grandma made
God in the dishwater slipping through her hands
after we were filled, God in the suds
and in the song she hummed

Listen.

I do believe that God is fluent in all our languages, is patient with our changing moods and tones of voice, is willing to let us talk or not talk. Some relationships don't require a lot of words. If you've had one of those, you might know what I mean.

The other night, at the end of my walk, the rising moon put on a spectacular show. It was full, the color of fresh butter, bisected by a thin line of dark clouds that read like punctuation against the fading turquoise sky. It was almost too much. I couldn't help it—I blurted out loud, "I see You! I see what You're doing! I hear You! Thank You." It was real prayer to me, the two-way kind, even though I'm pretty sure it looked like I was talking to myself.

I'm deeply grateful for the journey, and the many signposts I find along the way. Grateful for each of you, who hold up a lamp in the distance to remind me I'm not alone on my walk. I hope I can throw a little light your way in return, or even sit with you in the dark, until you feel ready to move again.

— Susan

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For your social calendar —

It’s that time again! Or it will be, once we’ve kicked January to the curb…
February’s Ladies’ Night In will be a lunchtime version, if you’re in the US, or an evening version if you’re not. Wherever you are, we’re excited to be holding our upcoming discussion group at a time that may work better for your schedule.

ALSSI Ladies’ Lunch/Night In
Friday, February 11
12:00 pm Mountain
Link: https://meet.google.com/dgt-hyvq-xec

Come as you are! We hope you can join us!

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"When someone tells me 'no,' it doesn't mean I can't do it, it simply means I can't do it with them."
—Karen E. Quinones Miller

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While we’re thinking ahead…

This is the view from my desk in AZ, where I’m writing this newsletter. Not bad for January, right? But you should see it in another month or so, when everything starts to bloom…

If you live in AZ—or if you need an early spring sun-break—please plan to attend our first ALSSI live event! We’ll mix and mingle with good food and new friends Friday evening, March 11. Then we’ll gather Saturday, March 12 for some speakers, some sharing, and a delicious lunch. We’ve enlisted the help of a few gifted (and generous!) ALSSI listeners who know how to plan a party, so it should be a great time. We hope to meet many of you there! Watch for details and registration coming soon.

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“Be like a tree. Stay grounded. Connect with your roots. Turn over a new leaf. Bend before you break. Enjoy your unique natural beauty. Keep growing.”
—Joanne Raptis

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In the meantime—

So many women seemed to resonate with the topic of spiritual permission we discussed in Episode 76, we decided to offer a transcript of that conversation. You can find the transcript by clicking here.

Holy sledgehammers!
Our listeners had so much wisdom to share:

“One of my most beautiful spiritual revelations of God’s love for me came at a time last year when I had just decided to make radical changes in my relationship to him and the church after years of faith struggles. I took the authority over my faith into my hands and made those decisions to live authentically. He came for me in a powerful way and told me I’m ok, I’m loved and His grace is enough!”
—@marjalil on IG

“The church used to have authority over my relationship with God. The church & God used to also be combined for me. I separated the two. Now I have separate relationships with the children & God. There’s also nobody between me & God now. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done with my life. The mental health benefits have been significant.”
—@tina._marie on IG

“I've been thinking about this topic a lot recently as my parents attended a q&a with the apostle Renlund and they said that someone had asked him if we can pray to Heavenly Mother too. His response was that we don't know enough about Her and that the ‘scriptures make it pretty clear who we should be praying to and how we should be praying.’ I'm grateful that I'm far enough along in my spiritual journey to not let anyone gatekeep God from me. I can't accept the prescribed script anymore as my sole communication and connection to God because it just doesn't work for me, and I won't be told how to do it anymore. My spirituality is mine alone and I have the authority to foster the kind of relationship I want with my Heavenly Parents!”
—Ellie on FB

“This was so timely for me. I've been struggling with feeling any connection when I try to pray. Honestly, I have no idea if anyone is even listening. As much as I appreciate the journey I'm taking in figuring this all out for myself, sometimes I miss the simplicity of being told how to pray and what I'll feel like when I'm done. It was so much easier!
Side note: I finally wore pants to church on Sunday for the first time. Anytime I started to feel self-conscious I pictured Cynthia sitting next to me saying, "It's my church too!" Thanks for the mental solidarity!”
—Heather on FB

“I know exactly who is terrified of me (personally) seeking god outside of the narrow proscribed path of contact.
I’ve even said it out loud so many times - what is wrong with ME that I can’t feel God in my life the same way everyone else does!?
I’m ready to be more like Jesus. Ready to stop being a pleaser. This paradigm has kept me from being like Jesus in so many ways. That’s all I want is to be more Christlike. And if the people in my life who think I’m evil for not being the kind of Mormon they think I should be - ‘you’re not the boss of me!’”
—Lyric on FB

“Nerdy linguist alert for what I'm about to say!
Many languages have two kinds of second-person pronouns, one that you use with people you have a close relationship with, and one that you use with people you have a more distant relationship with. For example, Spanish has tú (familiar) and usted (distant), German has du (familiar) and Sie (distant), French has tu (familiar) and vous (distant). All of these words translate to a singular "you" in English.
But what a lot of English speakers don't know is that, in the past, English used to have these two kinds of pronouns as well, and thou/thee forms are a remnant of that pronoun system in English which is all but extinct. But many people have come to believe that thou/thee forms are the distant forms, but they are actually the FAMILIAR forms in English. Therefore, when English speakers prayed, it was appropriate to use thou/thee forms when talking to God BECAUSE God is our Parent and we want to express that we have a close relationship with God. This is the same reason that Quakers use thou/thee forms when they speak to other people: they are using that language to indicate that we are equals and no one is better than another.
Like I said, I believe that most English speakers nowadays have reanalyzed thou/thee pronouns to be a formal form rather than the familiar form it once was (I've even heard this taught by an apostle who clearly didn't know about linguistics in General Conference). Therefore, even though there is a good message behind using the thou/thee forms, maybe it's time to rethink using them because the message isn't serving us anymore. […] When the practice gets in the way of the very thing it's intended to teach, perhaps it's time to revise the practice?”
—Mara on FB

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“Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are."
—Bernice Johnson Reagon

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And now, the ultimate antidote to Januaryness:

Guess what showed up on my doorstep the other day, courtesy of a kind ward member? (I’ll admit, I’d been waiting—they’re an annual treat!) That must mean it’s time for another annual treat:

Susan’s Favorite Starbucks Lemon Pound Cake

1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3 eggs
1 cup sugar
2 Tbsp softened butter
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp lemon extract
1/3 cup lemon juice
1/2 cup oil

Icing:
1 cup plus 1 Tbsp powdered sugar
2 Tbsp milk
1/2 tsp lemon extract

Preheat oven to 350°. Combine flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt in large bowl. Use an electric mixer to blend eggs, sugar, butter, vanilla, lemon extract and juice in a medium bowl. Pour wet ingredients into dry ingredients and blend until smooth. Add oil and mix well.

Pour into well-greased 9”x5” loaf pan. Bake for 45 minutes. Make the icing by combining ingredients in small bowl with electric mixer on low speed. When the loaf is cool, remove it from the pan and frost the top with the icing.

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Thanks for walking with us, and most of all for continuing to show up for each other in this growing community! It’s a privilege to host the ongoing conversation to which you contribute so much. Thank you for making our hopes for the At Last She Said It project a reality. Much love.

—Cynthia and Susan