What do you envision when you think about a next life? Happiness? Answers? Judgment? Question marks?  There are as many images of the afterlife as there are people to imagine it. But for some Latter-day Saints, the official picture painted at church doesn’t feel entirely hopeful or comforting. To kick off Season 5, Cynthia and Susan unpack the idea of “sad heaven,” an eternity spent with empty chairs where some of the people we love most should be.

Notes & Quotes:
Belief in Sad Heaven Hurts Relationships in Era of Mormon Doubt, by Jon Ogden, Salt Lake Tribune, August 2016
Divine Love in the Father’s Plan, by Dallin H. Oaks, April 2022
What a Friend We Have in Jesus, by Chieko N. Okazaki
The Universal Christ:
How a Forgotten Reality Can Change Everything We See, Hope For, and Believe, by Richard Rohr
Come, Follow Me, by Russell M. Nelson, April 2019

“Many Mormons believe that losing a loved one from the fold also means losing them in the eternities. It’s a situation made real when Mormons visit the temple (often referred to as “Heaven on Earth”) and are reminded that their non-believing counterparts can’t join them there. 

These members envision something tragic: “Sad Heaven” — an afterlife where the faithful mourn those who, for whatever reason, don’t make the cut.

The fear of Sad Heaven isn’t limited to Mormonism. Dante envisioned that non-believers and heretics were entombed in the 6th circle of hell ,  leaving their loved ones in paradise to assumedly mourn their absence forever. And mainstream believers of just about every stripe still worry about Sad Heaven today.”
—Jon Ogden


“……. the kingdom of glory we receive in the Final Judgment is determined by the laws we choose to abide by in our Heavenly Father’s loving plan. Under that plan there are multiple kingdoms so that all of His children can be assigned to a kingdom where they can ‘abide.’”
—Dallin H. Oaks

“A divorced family is not a broken family. It’s a family with a particular set of circumstances that it needs to work with. A family with a gay child is not a failed family. It’s a family with a member who needs special love and understanding and who has love and understanding to give back. A family with a pregnant teenager is not a dysfunctional family. It’s a family with a complex set of decisions to make. I don’t think I’m going out very far on a limb to say that I know that you either have someone in your family with at least some of these problems or you know somebody who has some of these problems. This is what real families deal with in the real world. And they don’t stop being families.”
—Chieko N. Okazaki

“I have never been competitive. Maybe you’ve heard me say before that one of my life mottos is: ‘it’s good enough.’ I was the queen of the B in school. I don’t care if I win at checkers or pickle ball so I’m not sure how to care about getting the best version of heaven that may exist.

We often hear in our church that salvation is an individual goal but exaltation is a family one. I have a hundred things to say about that …but the way things are going for my circle of loved ones, I’m not so sure aiming for the tippy-top-exaltation of the celestial kingdom even sounds appealing. Do I even want this ‘Mormon heaven?’ I just want to rub shoulders with good friends while sharing a slice of peach pie under a shady tree. Now THAT would be heaven enough for me.

All this talk around different kingdoms for those less faithful to the current LDS play book of 2022 has me tired and completely unmotivated. Pass me a slice of pie. It’s all I need.“

Your sister aiming low with an all-butter crust…”
—Cynthia Winward

“<Jesus> seemed to know that people would not naturally like that however. So there is already pushback included in the text: guests angling for a higher place at the table (Luke 14:7-11), a host insisting that all the guests wear wedding garments (Matt 22:11-14) or wanting to offer the wonderful event only to those “who could pay them back” while rejecting ‘the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind.’ (Luke 14:12-14.) We have always made it hard for God to give away God–for free!”
—Richard Rohr, The Universal Christ, p 172

“In truth, the Savior Himself has made it abundantly clear that while His Resurrection assures that every person who ever lived will indeed be resurrected and live forever, much more is required if we want to have the high privilege of exaltation. Salvation is an individual matter, but exaltation is a family matter.”
—Russell M. Nelson

“Thankfully, I am not this man’s judge. But I do question the efficacy of proxy temple work for a man who had the opportunity to be baptized in this life—to be ordained to the priesthood and receive temple blessings while here in mortality—but who made the conscious decision to reject that course.”
—Russell M. Nelson

“As human beings, we don’t know much. But we know we have life. What a tragedy it would be, then, to let our fear of the unknown ruin the relationships that our happiness hinges upon right now. As Mark Twain once said, “There isn’t time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that.”  We can’t go wrong by working to overcome our differences. In fact, it’s likely the best way to find lasting happiness.”
—Jon Ogden